Sexploration: An Article On Eastern Practices
(Excerpt from: Sacred Sexuality--A Manual for Living Bliss by: Michael Mirdad)
When a couple chooses to expand their knowledge and repertoire of lovemaking and intercourse, they should consider learning more advanced techniques and positions. This learning can include specific uses of thrusts and movements.
NOTE: Although the techniques are briefly described, due to space limitations, most of the actual steps are not given here but are available in Michael Mirdad's book, Sacred Sexuality: A Manual for Living Bliss.
Various Thrusts For The Male
By practicing various forms of thrusting, a man can learn what his partner enjoys the most. Also, by varying his thrusts, he can maintain his erection for a longer period, since the pauses during the alterations allow his arousal to subside-even if only slightly. The following are variations of thrusts of the lingam:
1. Back and Forth-The lingam slowly glides back and forth in the standard lovemaking fashion.
2. Churning-The lingam is held in the man's hand and the head is churned inside the yoni.
3. Upper Rubbing-The lingam is angled to stimulate the G-spot during thrusts.
4. Lower Rubbing-The lingam is angled to stimulate the lower part of the yoni's opening during thrusts.
5. Short Thrusts-The lingam is withdrawn only halfway and then thrust in again.
6. Long Thrusts-The lingam is withdrawn completely and then thrust inside.
7. Thrusting Hard-This can be done with short or long thrusts but is done as hard as is comfortable for both partners.
8. Pressing-The lingam carefully penetrates as far as possible and then is made to swell or enlarge slightly.
Various Thrusts For The Female
When the woman takes control of intercourse, she can experience a wonderful sense of empowerment and confidence. Although she may have to push through inhibitions, self-criticism, and perhaps even a lack
of muscle strength, the results are well worth it. When she chooses to take control, she must understand the responsibilities that go along with being in the “driver's seat.” In other words, she must know when she is moving too quickly or too slowly because her partner can lose his erection either from too much stimulation (resulting in a premature orgasm) or from not enough stimulation (resulting in a loss of arousal). Each of the “female-superior” positions presents challenges to a woman's coordination and strength, especially in her leg muscles. Additionally, each variation offers a unique form of stimulation for her and her lover. Therefore, she should take time to explore all positions.
1. Gliding-The woman sits on her lover's lingam while facing him. She places her hands down on either side of his head with her breasts over his face and begins rocking her body back and forth as his lingam
slides in and out of her yoni.
2. Pelvic Rocking-The woman inserts her lover's lingam as deeply as she likes and then begins rocking her pelvis back and forth with her clitoris rubbing against his pubic bone.
3. Pelvic Rotating-This is similar to pelvic rocking, but instead of rocking back and forth, the woman makes circles with her pelvis.
4. Backing In-The woman faces away from her lover while on her knees and backs in, sliding herself onto his lingam and then begins thrusting. This is similar to gliding but facing the opposite direction.
5. Squatting-The woman inserts her lover's lingam as she sits on him in a squatting position. Her hands are usually placed on the floor for support, but her knees are kept off the floor. Her feet are usually flat
on the floor, and her hips are kept suspended, not sitting in a resting position. In this position, she carefully slides down his lingam and then lifts again and continues down and up.
Variations Of Intercourse
If you choose to, you can expand upon your repertoire of intercourse positions by experimenting with such variations as those found below. Most of the choices found in this set of variations are passive forms of lovemaking. These positions focus less on developing physical sensations and instead, focus on increasing your awareness of the energy between you and your lover. These are crucial options for your repertoire, as they are some of the best forms of intercourse for developing trust and intimacy.
Yab Yum (Male-Female Union)
Yab means “male principle,” and yum means “female principle.” Therefore, the yab yum position represents a union of the cosmic male and female dualities. This is a wonderful, passive position for making love or simply connecting. The yab yum position can be practiced with the couple having intercourse and closely interlocking bodies, arms, legs, mouths, and genitals. It can also be performed more passively with the couple sitting together, yet keeping their torsos slightly separated to enable them to gaze into each other's eyes, as well as share loving comments.
Yin-Style Sex
Yin-style lovemaking is only for those partners who are prepared to spend time joining as one with no other sexual agendas. The partners will spend at least thirty minutes in a state of totally passive intercourse without physical orgasms. The focus will be on connecting and relaxing completely into the experience of each other's energy. Yin-style intercourse challenges priorities because with this technique, love must be the primary focus, as it should be in all lovemaking. However, in most forms of intercourse, movement of the bodies and excessive stimulation often distract the participants from the awareness of love. Yin-style sex involves floating in a relaxed state of loving euphoria before, during, and after intercourse. This passive state activates the parasympathetic nervous system and is distinctly different from the usual biological forms of intense, goal-oriented sex that activate the sympathetic nervous system with its “fight or flight” response.
Intercourse with a Limp Penis
The advantages of occasionally making love with a limp penis (lingam) are numerous. First of all, it prepares both partners for moments when the male may not be able to achieve an erection. It also helps to remove the belief that the penis must be erect for the man to make love or as a symbol of successful lovemaking. Having intercourse with a limp penis allows a unique, yin-like softness to be shared between the penis and yoni. It's especially helpful if the man's penis is too large or uncomfortable to insert when fully erect.
Healing Techniques
Ten Sets of Nine
The “Sets-of-Nine” exercise is a well-known Taoist technique designed to aid in developing concentration and maintaining an erection. To prepare, make sure both partners are in comfortable positions where the male can easily control the depth of his thrusts. Then, the male slides his lingam into the woman's yoni with varying deep and shallow thrusts but always totaling ten with each set. Altogether there are nine sets of ten strokes, which are practiced as follows:
STEP 1: Insert only the head of the lingam into the yoni. Then withdraw (the first shallow stroke). Repeat these shallow strokes nine times total, and then on the tenth stroke, carefully thrust the entire lingam into the yoni at once (the first deep stroke).
STEP 2: Follow with eight shallow strokes (only head of lingam) and two deep strokes (entire lingam).
STEP 3: Do seven shallow and three deep strokes.
STEP 4: Do six shallow and four deep strokes.
STEP 5: Do five shallow and five deep strokes.
STEP 6: Do four shallow and six deep strokes.
STEP 7: Do three shallow and seven deep strokes.
STEP 8: Do two shallow and eight deep strokes.
STEP 9: Finally, do one shallow followed by nine deep strokes.
Helping Your Partner Orgasm During Intercourse
It is possible to heighten the sensations in a woman's yoni, thus increasing her ability to orgasm through intercourse-even without stimulation to the clitoris. There are numerous techniques that assist a woman in having an orgasm during intercourse. First of all, it's crucial that a woman trusts her partner. Second, a woman should relax all of the muscles and tissue within her yoni and body-especially those within the inner vaginal canal. When a woman becomes aroused, she usually tenses the perineum muscle and surrounding pelvic region, causing her vaginal wall to balloon outward. This tensing contracts, or pulls up, the perineum muscle. To reverse the urge to tense or contract, she should push down and out for a moment (with the same muscles she uses for urinating). During intercourse, this act of pushing down collapses the balloon effect, creating a tighter fit of the yoni for the lingam. Third, if all else fails, a woman (or her partner) can stimulate her own clitoris manually during intercourse.
If there are continuing problems with your partner reaching orgasm during intercourse, it can mean his or her genitals need awakening. In that case, it helps to see your partner as a man or woman whose orgasm is like a shyness or inhibition that needs to be patiently encouraged to come forward. It's essential to practice drawing the resistant energy out from deep within the yoni or from the roots of the lingam. When a man notices a high level of arousal in his lover, for instance, instead of thrusting to get her to cum, he should do the opposite. He should focus on a passionate outward stroke, rather than the inward thrust. At the same time, he should imagine that he is physically and energetically drawing out her orgasm. The woman, on the other hand, who finds her partner incapable of reaching an orgasm should first gain his trust and cooperation. He must agree to release all goals, as well as fears and thoughts of failure. Then she
can take her time and playfully explore every inch of his sexual anatomy, as she searches for his most erogenous zones. Once she discovers his area of vulnerability, she can tease and titillate him, all the while demonstrating her own arousal. Her sexual excitement will often give him permission to release and experience an orgasm.
Some couples find it helpful to create a connection between different parts of the sexual anatomy. To create an association between the yoni and the clitoris or between the prostate and lingam, for example, alternate stimulation between these erogenous zones. To make the association between clitoral or lingam stimulation and orgasm more vivid within the entire body, a man can stroke the inside of the yoni as his partner orgasms through clitoral stimulation. A woman can, on the other hand, stimulate her partner's prostate as he reaches orgasm through stimulation of his lingam. A man can also awaken his partner's yoni by sensually massaging it inside and out, while a woman can bring greater genital awareness to her
partner by providing a genital and prostate massage. Additionally, if a woman is able to reach orgasm through pleasuring but not as easily through intercourse, it is possible to develop an association
between the man's lingam and the woman's orgasm by placing his lingam inside her yoni as she is cumming. First stimulate the woman's clitoris to the edge of orgasm, and then slip the lingam into her yoni just prior to orgasm. If these techniques are practiced consistently, the transmitters of pleasure to the brain connect with the particular part of the body that is stimulated, assisting in a repatterning of pleasure sensations.
(Excerpt from: Sacred Sexuality--A Manual for Living Bliss by: Michael Mirdad)
When a couple chooses to expand their knowledge and repertoire of lovemaking and intercourse, they should consider learning more advanced techniques and positions. This learning can include specific uses of thrusts and movements.
NOTE: Although the techniques are briefly described, due to space limitations, most of the actual steps are not given here but are available in Michael Mirdad's book, Sacred Sexuality: A Manual for Living Bliss.
Various Thrusts For The Male
By practicing various forms of thrusting, a man can learn what his partner enjoys the most. Also, by varying his thrusts, he can maintain his erection for a longer period, since the pauses during the alterations allow his arousal to subside-even if only slightly. The following are variations of thrusts of the lingam:
1. Back and Forth-The lingam slowly glides back and forth in the standard lovemaking fashion.
2. Churning-The lingam is held in the man's hand and the head is churned inside the yoni.
3. Upper Rubbing-The lingam is angled to stimulate the G-spot during thrusts.
4. Lower Rubbing-The lingam is angled to stimulate the lower part of the yoni's opening during thrusts.
5. Short Thrusts-The lingam is withdrawn only halfway and then thrust in again.
6. Long Thrusts-The lingam is withdrawn completely and then thrust inside.
7. Thrusting Hard-This can be done with short or long thrusts but is done as hard as is comfortable for both partners.
8. Pressing-The lingam carefully penetrates as far as possible and then is made to swell or enlarge slightly.
Various Thrusts For The Female
When the woman takes control of intercourse, she can experience a wonderful sense of empowerment and confidence. Although she may have to push through inhibitions, self-criticism, and perhaps even a lack
of muscle strength, the results are well worth it. When she chooses to take control, she must understand the responsibilities that go along with being in the “driver's seat.” In other words, she must know when she is moving too quickly or too slowly because her partner can lose his erection either from too much stimulation (resulting in a premature orgasm) or from not enough stimulation (resulting in a loss of arousal). Each of the “female-superior” positions presents challenges to a woman's coordination and strength, especially in her leg muscles. Additionally, each variation offers a unique form of stimulation for her and her lover. Therefore, she should take time to explore all positions.
1. Gliding-The woman sits on her lover's lingam while facing him. She places her hands down on either side of his head with her breasts over his face and begins rocking her body back and forth as his lingam
slides in and out of her yoni.
2. Pelvic Rocking-The woman inserts her lover's lingam as deeply as she likes and then begins rocking her pelvis back and forth with her clitoris rubbing against his pubic bone.
3. Pelvic Rotating-This is similar to pelvic rocking, but instead of rocking back and forth, the woman makes circles with her pelvis.
4. Backing In-The woman faces away from her lover while on her knees and backs in, sliding herself onto his lingam and then begins thrusting. This is similar to gliding but facing the opposite direction.
5. Squatting-The woman inserts her lover's lingam as she sits on him in a squatting position. Her hands are usually placed on the floor for support, but her knees are kept off the floor. Her feet are usually flat
on the floor, and her hips are kept suspended, not sitting in a resting position. In this position, she carefully slides down his lingam and then lifts again and continues down and up.
Variations Of Intercourse
If you choose to, you can expand upon your repertoire of intercourse positions by experimenting with such variations as those found below. Most of the choices found in this set of variations are passive forms of lovemaking. These positions focus less on developing physical sensations and instead, focus on increasing your awareness of the energy between you and your lover. These are crucial options for your repertoire, as they are some of the best forms of intercourse for developing trust and intimacy.
Yab Yum (Male-Female Union)
Yab means “male principle,” and yum means “female principle.” Therefore, the yab yum position represents a union of the cosmic male and female dualities. This is a wonderful, passive position for making love or simply connecting. The yab yum position can be practiced with the couple having intercourse and closely interlocking bodies, arms, legs, mouths, and genitals. It can also be performed more passively with the couple sitting together, yet keeping their torsos slightly separated to enable them to gaze into each other's eyes, as well as share loving comments.
Yin-Style Sex
Yin-style lovemaking is only for those partners who are prepared to spend time joining as one with no other sexual agendas. The partners will spend at least thirty minutes in a state of totally passive intercourse without physical orgasms. The focus will be on connecting and relaxing completely into the experience of each other's energy. Yin-style intercourse challenges priorities because with this technique, love must be the primary focus, as it should be in all lovemaking. However, in most forms of intercourse, movement of the bodies and excessive stimulation often distract the participants from the awareness of love. Yin-style sex involves floating in a relaxed state of loving euphoria before, during, and after intercourse. This passive state activates the parasympathetic nervous system and is distinctly different from the usual biological forms of intense, goal-oriented sex that activate the sympathetic nervous system with its “fight or flight” response.
Intercourse with a Limp Penis
The advantages of occasionally making love with a limp penis (lingam) are numerous. First of all, it prepares both partners for moments when the male may not be able to achieve an erection. It also helps to remove the belief that the penis must be erect for the man to make love or as a symbol of successful lovemaking. Having intercourse with a limp penis allows a unique, yin-like softness to be shared between the penis and yoni. It's especially helpful if the man's penis is too large or uncomfortable to insert when fully erect.
Healing Techniques
Ten Sets of Nine
The “Sets-of-Nine” exercise is a well-known Taoist technique designed to aid in developing concentration and maintaining an erection. To prepare, make sure both partners are in comfortable positions where the male can easily control the depth of his thrusts. Then, the male slides his lingam into the woman's yoni with varying deep and shallow thrusts but always totaling ten with each set. Altogether there are nine sets of ten strokes, which are practiced as follows:
STEP 1: Insert only the head of the lingam into the yoni. Then withdraw (the first shallow stroke). Repeat these shallow strokes nine times total, and then on the tenth stroke, carefully thrust the entire lingam into the yoni at once (the first deep stroke).
STEP 2: Follow with eight shallow strokes (only head of lingam) and two deep strokes (entire lingam).
STEP 3: Do seven shallow and three deep strokes.
STEP 4: Do six shallow and four deep strokes.
STEP 5: Do five shallow and five deep strokes.
STEP 6: Do four shallow and six deep strokes.
STEP 7: Do three shallow and seven deep strokes.
STEP 8: Do two shallow and eight deep strokes.
STEP 9: Finally, do one shallow followed by nine deep strokes.
Helping Your Partner Orgasm During Intercourse
It is possible to heighten the sensations in a woman's yoni, thus increasing her ability to orgasm through intercourse-even without stimulation to the clitoris. There are numerous techniques that assist a woman in having an orgasm during intercourse. First of all, it's crucial that a woman trusts her partner. Second, a woman should relax all of the muscles and tissue within her yoni and body-especially those within the inner vaginal canal. When a woman becomes aroused, she usually tenses the perineum muscle and surrounding pelvic region, causing her vaginal wall to balloon outward. This tensing contracts, or pulls up, the perineum muscle. To reverse the urge to tense or contract, she should push down and out for a moment (with the same muscles she uses for urinating). During intercourse, this act of pushing down collapses the balloon effect, creating a tighter fit of the yoni for the lingam. Third, if all else fails, a woman (or her partner) can stimulate her own clitoris manually during intercourse.
If there are continuing problems with your partner reaching orgasm during intercourse, it can mean his or her genitals need awakening. In that case, it helps to see your partner as a man or woman whose orgasm is like a shyness or inhibition that needs to be patiently encouraged to come forward. It's essential to practice drawing the resistant energy out from deep within the yoni or from the roots of the lingam. When a man notices a high level of arousal in his lover, for instance, instead of thrusting to get her to cum, he should do the opposite. He should focus on a passionate outward stroke, rather than the inward thrust. At the same time, he should imagine that he is physically and energetically drawing out her orgasm. The woman, on the other hand, who finds her partner incapable of reaching an orgasm should first gain his trust and cooperation. He must agree to release all goals, as well as fears and thoughts of failure. Then she
can take her time and playfully explore every inch of his sexual anatomy, as she searches for his most erogenous zones. Once she discovers his area of vulnerability, she can tease and titillate him, all the while demonstrating her own arousal. Her sexual excitement will often give him permission to release and experience an orgasm.
Some couples find it helpful to create a connection between different parts of the sexual anatomy. To create an association between the yoni and the clitoris or between the prostate and lingam, for example, alternate stimulation between these erogenous zones. To make the association between clitoral or lingam stimulation and orgasm more vivid within the entire body, a man can stroke the inside of the yoni as his partner orgasms through clitoral stimulation. A woman can, on the other hand, stimulate her partner's prostate as he reaches orgasm through stimulation of his lingam. A man can also awaken his partner's yoni by sensually massaging it inside and out, while a woman can bring greater genital awareness to her
partner by providing a genital and prostate massage. Additionally, if a woman is able to reach orgasm through pleasuring but not as easily through intercourse, it is possible to develop an association
between the man's lingam and the woman's orgasm by placing his lingam inside her yoni as she is cumming. First stimulate the woman's clitoris to the edge of orgasm, and then slip the lingam into her yoni just prior to orgasm. If these techniques are practiced consistently, the transmitters of pleasure to the brain connect with the particular part of the body that is stimulated, assisting in a repatterning of pleasure sensations.
